I'm Back!

After some trials and tribulations I have returned! More exciting posts to come, like: Mr. B's present to Mrs. Russ, what do you do when your computer stops, the out-laws, and much more. (I really need to write this stuff down!)

Holiday Tragedy

It is with heavy heart that I write this entry for the blog. As you know, Russ, my partner in blogging, was to spend Christmas with Mrs. Russ and Mr. B. at the home of the outlaws. There, he was going to make every effort to enjoy the visit despite his anxieties. His lone escape would be a computer, where he could unwind and release his pent-up frustrations by writing. But, since the outlaws aren't technologically savy, he would have to find alternative outlets for relaxing. One of those is walking the dog. It is a past-time that enables him to enjoy the fresh air and reflect on his life as a caring husband, father, son and friend. A few minutes into what was to be a very significant walk, I got the call. It is a conversation that I will remember for the rest of my life.


"Hello?"


"Jasper?"

"Yeah. Russ?"

"Hi."

"Is everything okay? You don't sound so good."

"No. It isn't. I don't know how to tell you this."

"What is it? What happened?"


"Sigh... It isn't good news."

"I can tell. Just relax and tell me what happened."

"Ok. Sigh... First let me say, that I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you."

"Fine. No big deal. You must have had a reason. Just tell me what's wrong."

"The other night, I went to that basketball game with my dad."

"I know. Is he okay?"

"Yeah. It's not that. I called Mrs. Russ on the way home from the game."

"Alright. Is she okay? Is it the baby?"

"Yeah. She is holding-up ok, and the baby is fine."

"C'mon Russ, just tell me! You're scaring me!"

"She asked me to go the the store... to... get... milk..."

"Sheesh... Are you kidding me? What the hell are you talking about? Is this some kind of joke?"

"Stop. I'm not finished. It gets worse... Then she said that I need to get... a... new..."


"New what? What is it!"



"Computer."




"Oh my god! What happened? What happened?"

"Don't know. Mrs. Russ was using it... then it... just... quit."

"What? How?!"

"Can't say for sure... it shut down, then rebooted, but nothing else happened... I don't know what to do."


"It'll be okay... Let me think.... Don't you know a computer chick?"

"Yeah... called her... she checked it out..."

"Prognosis?"

"Negative!"

"Huh?"

"The mother-board is fried!"


"Oh, sweet fancy Moses!"

"It's horrible... I feel so sick..."

"I'm right there with you buddy."

"Do you know what this means?"

"Gulp... I think so."



"You're going to have to..."


"Blog regularly?"


"You got it."

"Sigh... I was afraid of that. For how long?"

"Don't know... Not sure when I can get my computer fixed."

"Geez... That could be weeks of blogging! You know I'm not that reliable!"

"You'll have to!"


"But..."


"No buts... just do it. We have readers to think about."


"I know... Okay... I'll try my best."


"There is no try. Do."

"Yes, of course."



That is how our Christmas Eve conversation ended.


I don't know how he is doing today, or if he even survived yesterday. He responded to my text message yesterday morning, offering wishes of "Merry Christmas." It was an obligatory response at best. What concerns me is that he didn't return my call. I will have to try to give him a call this evening to make sure he isn't on the roof of the outlaws' house trying to end it all. Assuming that he is okay and can survive the mourning process, he will take to that trip on the road of recovery. In time, he will certainly be mentally and emotionally ready to give his perspective of what has transpired. Until then, keep him in your thoughts and prayers. Russ needs us all to support him during this very difficult time.

Merry Christmas!

Every year since we’ve been married, Sydney and I have sent an annual letter that reviews significant events in our lives and offers holiday greetings to our friends and family. Since all is peaceful on this Christmas Day and there is nothing to mock, I thought I would post a variation of the letter for you to enjoy...


Greetings and Salutations!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, behold! This year’s holiday letter has been composed before Christmas Day! For once, procrastination is nowhere to be found! Rejoice! Rejoice! Whether it will be delivered on time is up the United States Postal Service. We hope our annual letter finds you in good spirits, enjoying the holiday season.

Gee. What happened in 2007? Not much, really. It was a fairly uneventful year. Perhaps next year will make up for it. Maybe something really exciting will happen! Until then, enjoy 2008 (the Year of the Rat) and make some memories…

Ha! What kind of letter would it be without a little sarcasm? The year of 2007 has been the greatest year for Sydney and Jasper since their wedding. On March 25th, the Mockingbard family was forever changed. The arrival of Esmeralda Rose Mockingbard has been the single, most joyous event of their lives. The first month was the most difficult period, as Esmeralda was challenging the stamina of both mother and father. As the primary caregiver for that time, Sydney’s limits were especially put to the test. But, being the incredibly strong woman that she is, and having carried Esmeralda for 41 weeks, and endured an intense delivery, Sydney managed admirably. Since then, life with Esmeralda has been a delight. Both Sydney and Jasper had time home together after his school year ended and before she returned to work. Esmeralda was baptized in July, and the proud parents’ families were able to come to Florida for the celebration. The summer was a little longer for Jasper with the change in the school calendar, so he had high-quality bonding time with Esmeralda for nearly three months. At the end of the summer, Esmeralda was enrolled into a local daycare. There, Esmeralda has shown great similarities to her mother by being Little Miss Sunshine, whose smile lights up the entire room. Also like her mother, Esmeralda has made lots of friends. It is incredible to witness the development of such small people. On Christmas day, Esmeralda will have reached her nine month milestone. She will certainly have expanded her repertoire of talents that include clapping, shaking her head, crawling and the dangerously daring act of pulling herself up in the bathtub. It is only a matter of time before the girl is walking everywhere… Whether it is smiling for the first time, rolling over or eating without making a face, every achievement is memorable!


Even with a beautiful baby girl, Sydney and Jasper did manage to make a fair share of trips this year. Here are some of the highlights…With baby in tow, the couple headed to Boston for the christening of Cousin Robert’s son Kenneth. This was Esmeralda’s first plane ride and party! In September, the Mockingbard family visited Sydney’s old stomping ground, Memphis, for a wedding reception. The following month, Sydney and Esmeralda bravely traveled to Kansas for the annual fall visit, while Jasper went to a Clemson football game. Esmeralda was a remarkable traveler, so it is safe to say that she is going to be well-seasoned by the time she can spell the word “airplane”. Sydney was able to go to a Florida State game with her girlfriends while Jasper stayed home with Esmeralda to secretly indoctrinate her into the ways of Clemson fans. Thanksgiving was spent in Charleston again, mainly so the first born could be shown-off to part of the Mockingbard family. This Christmas, Sydney’s parents came to Florida to visit.

Home improvement has been on hold this year. Though the Mockingbard House is pleading for some improvements to be done and/or completed, Jasper and Sydney’s time has been pretty well occupied. There are still a few projects on the agenda, but with the change in priorities, they don’t seem quite as urgent. Eventually, everything that needs improvement will be improved. And, one of these days, Jasper and Sydney will have an extra pair of hands to help. So, how old does a child have to be before she can use a nail gun or paint brush?

The Year of the Pig (Boar) repeated the previous year’s trends. Births again outnumbered weddings, this time by a count of 12-4. Evidently this is normal. It seems that as more of your friends get married, the fewer of them remain single. Subsequently, as more people get married, the greater the likelihood of them having babies. Isn’t that amazing? This is a fascinating phenomenon!

Tootsie, Cleopatra and Pisa, our fabulous furry friends, are fantastic. Esmeralda is in love with the cats. Each time she spots one entering the room, she becomes mesmerized. She stops what she is doing, stares and begins to squeal with glee. Tootsie seems to have adjusted to the mysterious, small creature that has begun scurrying across the floor. She usually strolls over to Esmeralda, gives her a sniff and patiently allows Esmeralda to give her a pet. Oftentimes, Tootsie is snoozing under the twin bed in Esmeralda’s room, so she must like to be near the baby. But, if Esmeralda is unpleasant when she awakes from a nap, Tootsie will dash out of the room. Cleopatra is still the most elusive of the cats. She returns from her days about the yard for food, water and shelter (if it is raining or cold). Cleopatra has not taken any interest in Esmeralda. This crazy cat is usually on high alert when she comes inside, and will most likely go to the door if she sees or hears Esmeralda. Little, limping Pisa is the top cat these days. Since Cleopatra and Tootsie are out of sight most of the time, Pisa does whatever she wants. She is suspicious, yet curious of the new little person that makes too much noise. Though Esmeralda is always giddy when she sees Pisa, our youngest kitty is not quite sure what to make of her. We are confident that Esmeralda will be welcomed into the feline family when she can pet them gently.

Sydney thought Jasper was going to said goodbye to the old, reliable friend that was partially responsible for them getting together. Jasper’s Saab was retired with 209,000 miles on it, but it is still parked in the driveway. It is almost as though procrastination has this mysterious hold over Jasper and the Saab. Perhaps after it is cleaned up a bit, it’ll be ready for a new home. Fortunately, the newly redesigned 2008 Honda Accord is serving the Mockingbard family well. Although, Sydney and Jasper have begun to reach an appreciation for mini-vans and SUV’s because they typically have more space and allow for easy installation and removal of the child passenger.

We are not sure that we can top the joy 2007 brought us, but we will give it the old college try. Maybe our house projects will be finished, or maybe we will continue to spend our time enjoying life with Esmeralda! It could be a year that the Mockingbard family gets in shape. Sydney is going to compete in a mini-triathlon! Jasper needs to rehabilitate his knee to 100% so he can train with Sydney, and because having to keeping up with a fast-moving baby is inevitable.

Our wish is that your year will be just as eventful. We hope that everyone has a Merry Christmas and has a blessed New Year.

Christmas Holiday

Well, this will be my last post until the holidays are over. My out-law haven’t joined the late 20^th century yet and don’t have a computer (let alone internet connection). But this post isn’t going to be me bellyaching about the in-laws, nope my family this time. Yes, even my family can press my buttons.

We are celebrating Christmas with my family on Sunday. Fine. I am to bring appetizers. Fine. Life is normal so far and I can handle it. Now the fun part. My nephew has an ear infection, but is on antibiotics (and therefore, allegedly, not contagious but we’ll see). That doesn’t give me the warm fuzzies. Yesterday I find out that he has a stomach virus. Oh Happy Day! Now this wouldn’t be so bad if my sister could suck it up and say, “I think it’s best if we stay home since Blake is still small and Mrs. Russ is pregnant.” NOOOOOO, it’s Christmas time and we must be together. No we mustn’t! If your kid is sending juicy shit over the top of his diaper, you can keep it at your house!

To make matters worse, we dealt with this over Turkey day. My nephew was sick again (ear infection). I get the “We’ll just keep them apart”, who is this “we” kemo sabe? Fortunately, no one got sick then. Here’s to staying healthy again.

Don’t you just love family?

Blissfully Quiet

I guess I’m in the midst of the calm before the storm. Very little is happening other than my general procrastination regarding all things Christmas.

We were invited to a party this weekend in Columbia, SC. The soiree doesn’t even start until 7pm. It’s not like they don’t have kids (a three year old and a newborn) and I have to believe that others have young kids too, but while we wanted to go Mr. B goes to bed at 8pm. We just wouldn’t make it back in time. I suppose the hosts were just being polite but we just sit at home thinking, “well one less thing we’re doing…”.

Then there is the general anxiety that goes with spending time at the in-laws (I feel you xbox4nappyrash!). My only question is how many gifts will be “forgotten” there? As lamented in the past, she (my MIL) will have some uga crap that I have told her is unacceptable, but she thinks that I will let it slide because they don’t see Mr. B very often. I don’t let it slide. In all likelihood this is a mountain of a mole hill, but it is my mole hill and if I want to make it a mountain, I will!

And now for something completely different. My mother has charged me with making a appetizer for our Christmas dinner on Sunday. Apps are perhaps the one area I don’t have a large pool or recipes from which to pull ideas. I don’t have many desserts either, but I can usually pull something together quickly for that. I don’t want to do the same thing I did for Thanksgiving, but I will as a last resort. Well off to find an appetizer!

Cr8buzz

One of the social networking blogs that I belong to made the finals of a web awards competition and we need your help to push us over the top. Check out cr8buzz and if you like what you see give us a vote here.

Thanks!

Glad to be a Dad

Yesterday was one of those days that made it an absolute joy to be a Dad. Mr. B was in a fantastic mood. Nala even behaved. We wrestled on the floor and Nala would run figure eights around the dining room table and Mr. B and Me. I would bounce Mr. B on my shins then flip him over my head (holding his shoulders for safety!) to squeals of joy. Follow that with a good amount of tickling and the boy is ready for a nap. After the nap I ran around the backyard with Mr. B on my shoulders and then we ripped up leaves while sitting on the back stoop. Then we finished up the day snuggled on the couch watching basketball.

Life is good!

So much stuff

After a surprisingly busy weekend, considering that we had nothing planned, we arrive again at Monday.

It started off with the thought, “Oh this won’t end well…”. You see we have this small Nativity Scene that my wife sets up in our bay window. It has all the little sheep, little cattle, little wise guys (wise men, sorry), little baby Jesus, etc. Well, the bay window’s ledge is a little over two feet off the ground and Mr. B is three feet tall (give or take), so he has full access to the ledge. Once the scene was setup, Mr. B would bring us various parts to us, usually the sheep (hey, the boy likes lamb). I reminded my wife that he still like to put things in his mouth and that maybe we need to find a new place for the Nativity Scene. She thought it would be fine. Mr. B kept bringing us livestock. I finally picked up the Nativity Scene and packed it away despite the argument of “he needs to learn about it”. I agree, he does, just not with a sheep lodged in his throat. Calm was temporarily restored.

The next bit of excitement came when the wife and I were putting the crib back together in the new nursery. Mr. B was just howling in his room. I told Mrs. Russ to just relax and he’ll go to sleep sooner or later, he can hear us right now is all. Being the softy that she is, she checked on Mr. B. He, in addition to crying his eyes out trying to crawl under the door, had managed to open the diaper pail and liberate his most recent diaper. Was it only a wet one, no it had a brown bear in it. He placed it in a position of honor on his stool (something about stool on a stool just sounds funny to me). So we cleaned his room. For the record, yes, his hands were in his mouth when we entered the room.

Then there was some fun too! I went with the ‘rents to a wine tasting. They belong to a wine club and I tag along for fun. This wine club does tasting of the wine that they are hawking. Usually it is (I think) over priced, although they will tell you that it is to equivalent of something costing 2 to 5 times its price. Right! That is not to say that there isn’t good wine there, because there is; just don’t tell me that the $20 bottle of wine is really worth $50 on the open market, because if it was you would be selling it for $50.

I did manage to pick up some stuff that is kind of like Bailey Irish Crème, only it has a butterscotch note to it. Really good stuff for after dinner and makes a kick ass pancake.

Movie Star Students

Pumpkin (my assistant) and I were chatting today about the students as the fourth graders arrived for their P.E. class. Usually, we talk about the overall behavior and attitudes of the classes. From time to time, our conversations lead us to discuss individual students. There are kids we like, some we don't, and others that we can't figure out. Today, as the classes were filing into the gym, I started scanning the faces.

The first face that jumped out belonged to a boy that is generally not annoying. He and his little friends goof-off, but he is basically a decent kid. He reminded me of a character from Enemy Mine, a 1985 sci-fi flick staring Dennis Quaid and Louis Gossett Jr. Years ago, I made the same observation about an NBA player. As Pumpkin and I chuckled about my sudden realization, a particularly obnoxious child was up to his usual antics. I squinted at him and could see the resemblance as clear as day. This boy is a dead-ringer for a character in another 1985 cult-favorite, The Goonies. After another good laugh, I suddenly, turn to my trusted assistant and say the name of yet another character from a classic television show (also made into a movie). She knew exactly who I was talking about. While we were having our moment of Zen, the kids were oblivious to our rather introspective observations. If they did hear our conversation, I can feel certain that they would have absolutely no idea what we were talking about.


Who would have ever thought that as a P.E. teacher I would have celebrities in my midst? This is my fifth year at this school, and it has taken until today to realize that there are kids who are real life movie stars. Being the movie buff that I am, I should have recognized that I was among such famous people. I need to pay better attention! It's possible that there are others at this lowly elementary school that have graced the big screen. Stay tuned for more star sightings!

Terrorizing the Toddler

Well last night the wife and I did the required Santa picture. Now at 20 months, Mr. B doesn’t yet grasp the whole Santa process. He just knows that he likes to be held by Mom or Dad, usually Mom when available, unless he wants to roam free, usually in church or some other terribly inappropriate situation.

First we went out for dinner, Mexican, and I had a tall beer figuring that I’d need it (built in DD with a pregnant wife!). Mr. B stuffed himself silly with chips and barely touched his taco. I stuffed myself silly with chips then ate my Pollo con Mole, which was far sweeter than I recalled. Mrs. Russ restrained herself on the chips and ate most of her something con crema, which tasted faintly of cardboard. The point being, the boy is fat and happy and seems to be enjoying his evening.

Then we head over to see Santa. Not to the mall, thankfully, but to our insurance agents new digs. They had a band (high school kids, but they did a pretty good job), a fire truck (Mr. B is too small to go climbing around on it and it was poorly lit to boot, you would think an insurance agent would think that one through), face painting (we abstained for that), and, of course, Santa.

So we waited in line. I don’t know what was going on in front of us, we were second in line and a bunch of kids kept scooting in and out of the room with Santa. I think they, the kids, were all related somehow but I can’t be sure. Well they finally got their pictures taken with the big guy and then their parent(s), grandparents, and, I think, their weird uncle all piled out of another room and elbowed their way over to take some more pictures after the kids had disbursed. By this time the line for Santa had to be ten families deep, there was only the family in the room with Santa when we arrived.

Finally everyone, save Grandma, left the room. She felt the need to have a conversation/hit on Santa. Right in front of Mrs. Claus! The nerve of her! Grandpa, sensing he was loosing her, came back and explained to her that there is a long line and they needed to go.

We now get to see Santa. I hip check a little girl into the boards (ok it was just the wall, and she ran into me, love the Christmas spirit) and assume my position across the room for pictures. Mrs. Russ attempts to hand Mr. B off to Santa and Mr. B does his full body hug thing and starts bawling. So Mrs. Russ sits on Santa’s lap and holds Mr. B for the picture. I am forced to crop the picture since I have not received permission to put my wife’s picture on the blog. Since I value my relationship with my wife, you just get a crying baby.

1984

MP3.com calls VH’s 1984 “arguably the best and most defining rock release of the ‘80’s” Van Halen must get their nod with a string of hits ranging from “Jump”, to “Panama”, to “Hot for Teacher”… Oh, wait this is about the 1984 that sucked, the alleged classic book by George Orwell.

Now I must have been one of the few people who didn’t read 1984 in high school. I’m not sure why it has maintained such popularity. The characters are thoroughly unlikable. The plot is simply following our protagonist around during his dull life. The “best” part of the book is the descriptions of the settings. You could feel the drab blue/gray of the city and the vibrant color of the countryside (but not too vibrant, Big Brother could be there too).

About 2/3rds of the way through the book, our protagonist almost became human and started to develop a personality. And maybe that is the point of the book, that under the fascist socialist state, in the Stalinist Russian socialism style (although it was only labeled as socialist in the book, odd since Orwell was an avowed socialist), that one losses his or her humanity to, in this case Big Brother, the government.

The thing I found amazing was that there was no proverbial “light at the end of the tunnel”. The government didn’t come crashing down due to his actions. The proles (non-party members) didn’t mount a revolution. Everyone just kept on keeping on. I guess that is the second message of the book, people are sheep and need to be herded by big government. I disagree with that concept and my political belief of small government and personal responsibility reflect that.

Long story short, if you want to read it, go ahead. Other wise, just go to Borders (or your favorite bookstore, Borders is just close to me) and pick up a cliff notes version and read it that way. I don’t think it is worth your time.

Next on my reading list is “The Arabian Nights”. You know Ali baba and the 40 thieves, Aladin, etc.

Special shout out the Mom who spoke with me on the playground, Thanks!

Today’s “video” is audio. Contains juvenile potty humor.

It’s Daddies Day!

It was Daddies Day at the park today! Oh how great it was to chat with other Dads about, well hell, anything. Mostly football and how f-ed up the bowl system is. But still, we actually out numbered the ladies today five to two. That never happens. The best I hope for is some Grandfather who thinks a) I work a different shift, b) I’m unemployed, or c) I’m a sahd and therefore less of a man than he was/is. Or I internalize too much. I’m still stoked nonetheless.

I’m also proud of myself as well. On Monday I took Mr. B and Nala for a walk, since it was/is so nice. I turned the corner off my street and got maybe 30 or 40 feet farther and the wheel popped off the stroller. We limped home and played in the backyard instead. So yesterday, I look at the offending axel and wheel and see if I can’t figure the thing out. After noticing a rattle in the wheel, I disassemble it and find a broken pin. It looked just like the pins I used to keep the body on my RC Car as a child. Be it nostalgia or pack rat, I still had the tool box, and cars for that matter, from my childhood. So I was able to fix the stroller with some 20 year old clips. So far they have held up.

Exit Question: Does anybody else have toys from their youth? If so, what?

Finding non-traditional Christmas carols has been a bit more challenging than I originally thought. Particularly when you eliminate all of the farting and x-rated carols. After watching this one, I had a weird urge to buy a Miller Lite…

Boys and Girls, Can You Say "Irony"? I-R-O-N-Y

A week ago Wednesday, on the NBC Nightly News, my good friend Brian Williams presented a story about the childhood obesity epidemic face in the United States. Kids are essentially eating themselves to death. With the poor dietary habits of children these days, heart disease and diabetes are likely to see an increase, thus causing an entire generation to face a health crisis like no other. Yes, it is tragic.

The state of Florida decided to join the fight several months ago by mandating that all elementary students have 150 minutes of physical education every week. That is great for me, I guess. I get to teach P.E. to every class every day for thirty minutes. (I’ve got that joy, joy, joy down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart!) It really is a good thing since so many kids are out of shape and/or fat.

My plan has been to develop a program centered on fitness. By fitness, I mean that the kids do lots of calisthenics and running. I have not been able to determine if it is helping the children, but within the first two months I had lost about 7 pounds that I didn’t need. Now, my pants are a little looser and I have had to tighten my belt. Other changes at my particular school include supposedly providing more nutritious meals in the cafeteria and discouraging teachers from giving students sweet rewards. At least I am doing my part.

Last week, there was a great idea. Fathers, grandfathers, and any other father-figure were invited Thursday morning to read with their children. Here is the irony: At a school, in a state that is encouraging programs to improve the health of the overweight children, the theme was “Dine on Donuts with Dad!” That’s right folks- dads and kids could eat a delicious sugar-laden, fat filled “small ring-shaped cake made of rich, light dough that is fried in deep fat.” (yahoo.com/reference/dictionary) It wasn’t “Fruits with Father” or “Pops and Portion Control”. Nope, it was a time to consume carbs and calories. If you want to see some nutritional information on a provider of some of the best donuts in the world, go here: http://www.krispykreme.com/doughnuts.pdf.

There was a little subterfuge too. Propaganda encouraging men to be role models and involved with the children’s education was distributed along with napkins. My school tries numerous of ways to increase parental involvement. Sadly, in this community, the pursuit of academia is the farthest thing from the population’s minds. Basically, the kids don’t get a lot of support. Some of those kids are lucky if they have one parent that cares about their welfare. That is why it is nice to see the school plan an activity that involves parents.

Needless to say, the students that participated in this irresponsible dietary disaster were on a sugar-high for most of the day. When kids are hopped-up like that, it is my duty to provide ways to burn off the energy. I must have tripled the usual number of repetitions for each exercise! Admittedly, I am guilty of partaking of the sinful sweets. I’ll probably have to resume my daily regime of activity so I don’t start feeling the effects of the three donuts I ate. But, at 5’11, 167 lbs, I don’t have much to worry about. I can’t say the same for some of the fathers I saw.

I love Global Warming!

Here I sit broken hearted... No wait, wrong rhyme. I’m in my tee shirt and gym shorts (not unusual) with the windows wide open in mid-December (somewhat unusual). I took the kids down to the park so Mr. B could play, Nala could get accosted by toddlers other than Mr. B, and I could get treated as a pariah by the Moms. (That’s fine ladies; I’ll play with my kid and your kid and her kid. You don’t have to acknowledge me.) There is a nice cool breeze and the sun is warm, life is good! Of course, this weekend good ole Mother Nature is supposed to layeth the smack down, Mid-West style (no ice, I don’t think, just temps).

The next door neighbor has had visitors off and on for several weeks now. The question that I keep coming back to is: How can they have two (2) teenage girls and it is the Grandmothers who continually slam doors so hard that my windows rattle? I mean people, you don’t have to try to break glass every freakin’ time you close a door.

Since some radio stations here in good ole Charlotte started playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving, I’m already sick of it. So, inspired by that and a blog, I am going to attempt to find different, and sometimes off color (if sufficiently humorous, with content warning of course) Christmas carols. Today we'll experiment with a medley of standards, in a different key.

Weekend Update

Overall it was a good weekend at the humble abode. We finally got HD programming, after having them (Dish Network cancel twice, normally I’m very happy with the service from them but not so much this time). Mrs. Russ decorated the house for Christmas (homey don’t play that) and we got the Christmas tree up.

As noted on Friday, Mr. B got his big-boy furniture for his bedroom. He took to it well and slept until 9:30 on Saturday and 8:30 on Sunday. Going to bed for the evening is easy, for naps… When we put him down for a nap, he can still get to all of toys (primarily stuffed animals) which invariably end up in his bed with him. It really is quite the sight! I’m not sure where he sleeps. So he’ll play and fuss some, but eventually he will calm down and go to sleep.

Mrs. Russ had her Christmas party on Saturday night (when your daily “work clothes” consist of gym shorts and tee shirt, a coat and tie seem like overkill). It was at a really swank restaurant that really dumbed down its fair to buffet standards (carving stations, carbs, and shrimp cocktail). They did have a couple hot stations that did seared scallops and crab cakes which were good, but you had to wait on a long line to get them. But to make it really good, the bar (free) carried my bourbon of choice (Basil Hayden) and had a very good beer selection (even Trappist Ales!). So life was good, and I had a built in DD!

Exciting Day

Today has been a rather exciting day at the house. Mr. B got his new Big-Boy bed (blissfully not Bob’s big boy bed, for those of you who haven’t been to a Bob’s Big Boy, you’re not missing anything). As expected, Mr. B loves playing on his new bed, but hasn’t grasped the whole sleeping thing. He still wants his crib. I can’t blame him, it’s been the only bed he remembers (he did a bassinette for the first couple weeks, until he grew out if it).

We played outside in the backyard, nothing new there, for awhile this morning. Well, Mr. B doesn’t pay attention to where he steps and Nala does her business with reckless abandon. Those of you who know that 2 + 2 = 22 know what happened next. Mr. B didn’t understand why I didn’t want to pick him up anymore! So now that the horse was out of the barn, so to speak, I did some pooper scooping.

In other news, I got my Christmas a little early this year. My Xbox360 finally was returned. So like a child on Christmas, I plugged it up to play a quick game. THE DAMN THING STILL DOESN’T WORK! I hooked up the power and hit the power button and the ring of death is still there. So much for Christmas early this year.

Serenity Now?

I have got to make time for my daily therapy. During those few times when I have managed to sit uninterrupted in front of my computer and reflect on my random thoughts, relaxation has entered my body and brought my mind at ease. I suppose my ability to follow through on writing daily, or at least every other day, is somehow related to the fact that I am attempting to read four books simultaneously. (Three are listed; the fourth is Ron Clark’s The Essential 55, which is somehow supposed to inspire me to become a great teacher.) There are so many things that I need and/or want to do, that I can’t seem to focus on any one thing.

This evening, I mostly have time to myself. Sydney is at her annual Christmas party with fellow employees. Esmeralda and I did not accompany her, as children were not invited. Since I wasn’t welcome, Esmeralda was named designated baby-sitter. There is no doubt that Sydney is savoring her meal of bland herb chicken or lemon pepper no-name fish at the rather generic catering facility where the party is being held. Dessert will be the mysterious chef’s choice. My guess is that it will be a collection of stale leftovers from other catered meals. Apparently Christmas events at traditional restaurants are not "en vogue" anymore. Fortunately, my meal of leftover spaghetti with jar sauce and ice cream with chocolate chips and chocolate syrup will be far more delicious.

Esmeralda, on the other hand, is in my presence, and managing to entertain herself with her new found ability to crawl. At this moment, she is suffering a condition not unlike mine. Daddy’s girl can’t decide whether she wants to play with an inoperable keyboard, the comforter of the guest bed or the latch of a foot locker. As I ponder my next few lines, it appears that is has chosen the keyboard for it's apparent comfort as a pillow. Judging by that behavior, it will be time to prepare her for bed very shortly.

There. That should suffice for the evening. A short entry tonight will grant me some serenity. Perhaps over the next few days, I can be more faithful to my treatment, since insanity later is inevitable.

Life is good, and other stuff

Yesterday I had one of those moments that reaffirmed why I became a stay at home Dad. It was a fairly simple thing, most of the best things are. Mr. B had just come back inside from playing in the back yard and was chasing Nala with his blanket. Well, she always runs to me for protection (which I prefer to her protecting herself) and I grabbed Mr. B. Well he promptly stuck his thumb in his mouth and nuzzled with his blanket into the crook of my neck. Nala, ever grateful, was curled up at my feet. Life is good.

Unlike Tuesday, when Mr. B decided that he didn’t want a nap until he couldn’t keep his eyes open any more at 3pm. Then the Wife decided to wake him up when she got home at a little after 5. I warned her that he had been asleep for less than 90 minutes (he always plays before sleeping). She woke the boy up anyway, and he did not care for it one bit. (My Tim the Enchanter impression didn’t help the situation, “I WARNED you!”.) Then leaving a tired Mom with an unhappy baby was just piling on, but she knew that I had a basketball game to go to with my Dad. I did return with dessert to make amends (an almond coconut pound cake, yummy).

Now, on the opposite end of happiness spectrum is the basketball game. Winthrop did win the game in exciting fashion, which is good, but the fans (adults, people who should know better) were painful. I’m not some prude who consumes mass quantities of the “only cheer for your team” Kool Aid, but at least let your taunts make sense. Case in point, knucklehead behind me would yell at the Akron coach to “stand up” when he was standing, thus mocking his height. I happen to think this is pretty weak to begin with, but the Winthrop coach isn’t exactly a giant among men (in stature, I can’t speak to personality or charity etc). So, should one be yelling, “Your Mama wears combat boots!” when you own Mama wears them? There are more, but it is a long season and I don’t want to use up all the material so soon.

Drivers Ed

Yield Sign as defined in Wikipedia: “In road transport, a yield (Canada, Ireland, and the United States) or give way (many Commonwealth countries) traffic sign indicates that a driver of a vehicle must slow down and prepare to stop if necessary (usually while merging into traffic on another road) but does not need to stop if there is no reason to. A driver who has actually stopped in this situation is said to have yielded the right-of-way to through traffic on the main road. In contrast, a stop sign always requires a full stop.”

The phrase “but does not need to stop if there is no reason” applies here. There is an intersection that I go through on a nearly daily basis that is an off ramp from our soon-to-be-completed (yeah, right) belt way on to the road where I live. At the terminus of this ramp is a yield sign. Now as you continue around to make the right off the ramp (there is a light to make a left turn) you have your own lane to continue driving (assuming there isn’t another car merging into that lane, hence the yield sign). Invariably the chucklehead in front of me mistakes that yield sign (a triangle) for a stop sign (an octagon) and parks at the top of the hill looking over their shoulder at all the people NOT turning into their lane. No doubt these are the same people who do a “rolling stop” at stop signs (effectively reversing the meaning of the two signs).

This ranks higher than the people who drive with their blinker on for miles at a time, but lower than people who drive the speed limit, or just below, in the left or passing lane.

Does all this make me sound a little too curmudgeonly? Or is it the fact that I grew up driving in New Jersey? (No four way stop signs there, too many four car accidents.) I have found myself biting my tongue so as not to teach Mr. B any new words. (Not that he says much; I just don’t want one of his first words to be “Bastard”)

For the person who has everything...

I saw this on one of the political blogs that I read, and had to pass it on to you all. You may want to steer clear of the "Customers who bought..." section, it make me wonder what they are doing with the item on sale... Gifts

hat tip: http://www.brainterminal.com/

B(C)S

Well, another football season is nearing its end, and the long wait for the bowl games begin (at least for any of the decent bowls any way). The wife and I watched the BCS selection show (sorry, doesn’t have the same weight as the basketball selection show). The only bowl that had any “drama” was the Rose bowl, would they select a team from the Big 10, or would they opt for a potentially good game instead? Big 10, no real surprise.

To all you uga fans out there, STFU you didn’t take care of business during the season, you don’t deserve to go to the alleged championship game. You lost at home to Chicken U (university of south carolina to the rest of you) and you got doubled up at Tennessee (who did go to the SEC championship game). Win either of those two games and it is a non-issue, case closed I don’t care how you are playing now. IF we had a playoff system, that would be important. For the record, I wouldn’t want to play uga now, but I’ll be rooting for Hawaii! (Is there a prettier state in the union?)

I absolutely loved that there was such turnover at the top spots. 1) It shows the parity in college football and 2) we so desperately need a playoff system. Just the top eight, 10, 12 teams; drop the 12^th game from the schedule (by and large teams just added a directional tech school to the schedule anyway) and have a playoff. Leave all the rest of the bowls alone, they don’t matter anyway. They become the NIT to the NCAA Championship in basketball.

Now uga just bitches about their seeding rather than getting left out. VT still has a shot, as does USC, and LSU (OSU has no shot, if the “Championship” game has a spread in Vegas of less than double digits I’m putting a fistful of cash on LSU).

Alas, it is just a dream. My Tigers will be taking on the Auburn Tigers in the Peach Bowl (I know it was bought out by Chic-fil-a, but it will always be the Peach Bowl to me). That should be a good game and I am looking forward to watching it from the comfort of my own house. I understand the CU has already sold out of their allotment of 17K tickets, I imagine AU has done the same. (BC, I like you guys, I do, but if you want to go to better games you must travel better. You have 3 million people in the city; surely you can find 20k people to go to a game?)

But now I can concentrate on my first love, Basketball!