Return to Hoboville- The Twilight Zone Episode, by Jasper

Last month, I ranted about the student hobos that fill my school. One of our most loyal readers was upset by my comments, but we seemed to have made amends once I understood her plight and she realized that I was merely making remarks and observations about the kids I teach. And certainly, everyone’s situation is different. Perhaps when I finish my spreadsheet, I’ll post the statistics I have collected about the students and their multitude of schools. Anywho, today something weird happened. Either I woke-up with a serious case of the Twilight Zone Mondays or I’m developing precognitive powers.

On Friday, I was perusing the rolodex of student information, looking for some information on some kids that have been particularly troublesome lately. I came across the card with an unfamiliar name. Try as I might, I could not remember who this person was. The name might as well been Fliviaffi Roysenduffbombinoa. I started asking around the office about this kid. No one could remember him. Finally, the meek little woman that typically hides behind her computer, responsible for the cumulative folders, spoke-up, er, whispered-up.

“I’ll ask ya.”

“You’ll ask me what?!”

I was startled. She has never spoken to me.

“No… A-lask-ya. His family moved to A-lask-ya.”

Finally, I understood. I thought I would have a little fun with her, so my next question was with tongue firmly planted in cheek.

“Nome?”

“Of course I know him. I know everyone. I am the records mistress.”

“No, I mean Nome, Alaska… Did he move to Nome, Alaska?”

“No. North Pole.”

“Alaska isn’t in the North Pole.”

“Sir, the family moved to North Pole, Alaska. It is a real city. If you don’t believe, look it up. I have a job to do, and I have grown weary of your feeble attempts at wordplay.”

So, I had clearly upset the woman who has always been unflappable- mainly because she is always focused on her job. Anyway, I learned what I needed to know (and she wasn’t going to tell me anything else given her current state of agitation). Gradually, I began to remember the kid. He was decently behaved, though a bit awkward. I could recall that he was in school in August, but I don’t know when he left. Oh well. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t that important. When I got back to my office, I looked it up. The North Pole isn’t only just a geographic moniker. The town is real.

Monday arrived and I was in a foul mood. Everything seemed to be getting under my skin. As I’m taking my morning stroll up to the office to see what’s what, I see some folks waiting at the front desk. With their backs to me, I could see it was a parent with two kids. The parent was filling-out paperwork, so it appeared as though it might be new students. Great, I thought, there are 31 days of school left and the hobos are still hopping of the train of despair. I continue walking through the office to the lounge to freshen my coffee. When I return, I could see the people at the desk completing the paperwork.

Suddenly, weirdness slaps me in the face!


Imagine the next few moments in slow motion… I pause momentarily to take a sip of coffee and glance towards those three people. As I am lifting my arm up to my mouth, my synapses start to go crazy. There is a familiar face among the three. My arm stops half-way, my jaw drops wide-open and my hand relaxes. The boy has been at this school before. The coffee mug goes crashing to the floor. The boy was at this school at the beginning of the year. The mug shatters. The boy was the one I just asked about. The coffee splatters everywhere. This is the boy from Alaska.

Goosebumps and shivers overcome my body like a tidal wave slamming into a beach. To myself, I am screaming “Holy shit! Holy shit!” However, since I’m working at a school, I just stand with mouth agape, pointing. I start to mutter. After a few moments, I regain my composure. I hurriedly clean up the mess as the swarm of secretaries stand and watch. Finally, I walk over to the family and retell what has just occurred. They seemed to laugh it off, but I could tell that they were a little creeped-out. I think I saw the boy shudder.

After that, the day seemed to calm down a bit. Perhaps I was afraid something else would happen. Of course, it is only Monday. There is plenty of time for Lady Eerie to come back.