The Cup, By Russ

I gate the kids up stairs. Miss L is in her crib mostly asleep and Mr. B is playing with water in his sink (he will be good for hours if I let him), and I am left staring at a cup. I know what I have to do, and it is for the greater good. But do you want to talk about unerotic? Well, this is poster child for unerotic.

I have to abuse myself, not that I am unfamiliar with abusing myself, so the doc (or one of his lackeys I'm sure) gets the opportunity to make sure that the pool is free of all bodies (live or otherwise).

Xbox4nappyrash and I have had conversations at how far apart we are in life (and we weren't talking statute miles either). IF you haven't read him, by all means, finish here and then go visit him via my link to him. Well, nothing crystallized the difference between our situations more than this. I'm making man juice to make sure I have no one in the pool, and he has to make man juice full of little Irish Michael Phelps'.

Anywho, back to the topic in hand, damn, at hand, sorry. So kids up stairs minding their own business and me looking at an empty cup, willing my jizz to be free and clear of all swimmers.

Funny, how the guy will not relax when it is terribly inappropriate (at the pool, at the beach, in public), but when he is needed for a job and not recreation, nothing. I suppose that I could have gotten the wife involved, but this just seemed like something that I need to do solo.

Short story long, if finally burped the lizard into the cup. Joy. Now I need to round up the kids and get to the doctor's office. Fortunately time is irrelevant. Live or dead, there can be no swimmers. So I am not under the same time constraints as Xbox.

I round up the kids and head on over to the doctor's office. Sans sample. Shit. Turnaround, (now it's really good that time is not of the essence) and retrieve the sample. Nala is really confused and Mr. B is not ready to return home.

Take two, to the doctor's office. Successfully drop off the sample. (Unlike Xbox's Brunhilda to redirect him, you'll just have to read his stories, I have a rather comely young lady to leave my sample with. Pun very much intended.) Even though I called ahead, they send me packing and tell me to wait for them to call me. Whatever.

As I am writing this post, I get the call. FUCK! I still have swimmers! (Of the rare dead variety, is that supposed to make me feel better?) I am cautioned that I am still, technically, fertile and should continue with contraception. Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy I love me some rubbers.

Xbox had asked me just what would happen if swimmers were found. I told him not to say such things. Well, now I know. In two to three weeks, I get to stare down a cup again (if this keeps happening, will the Wife think that I have a thing for specimin cups?) and you will get to read all about it.