With One Eye Open, by Russ

The past couple of mornings have been perfect sleeping weather (particularly with the new black out curtains the Wife installed! Thanks Babe!). So I have been bundled up under the blankets, in my happy place (place note, no sarcasm), lolling in the pre-waking semi-alertness. You know, where you can hear everything going on around you, but you are powerless to do anything about it. Sure, you could ruin it all and actually wake up, but it would be so much better to just go back to sleep.

Well that's where I was when I heard the Wife open Mr. B's door this morning. Crap. That means that the negotiations I was having with my back and bladder had just become moot. Now instead of another hour of sleep, I was going to get five, ten minutes of sleep if I am lucky.

I heard the Wife ask Mr. B if he has to go pee pee (yep, we're still working on that), he responds with an enthusiastic yes! But here's the kicker, only Daddy can help him. Shit.

Sure enough, he came bounding around the bed yelling, "Daddy get up! Me go pee pee!" The Wife, to her credit, came around and attempted (half heartedly) to get Mr. B to go to the bathroom with her. To which he answered, "NO Mommy, back up! Back up!" So out of bed went my sorry ass.

Now I am sitting on the edge of my son bath tub in my underwear while he is sitting on the pot telling me the finer points of, something, hell I wasn't awake. The Wife tried to keep us company, but every time she tried to come in she was greeted with, "Back up Mommy, Back up!" So that was not to be.

I guess he is my boy today.

With that, the Wife blew us kisses and left for work.

Mr. B then lets out a yelp and says, "Pee pee out!" Sure enough the pee guard on the seat was wet. With all the talk of pee pee, my bladder was ready to burst. So I showed Mr. B what a morning pee was all about.

A good two minutes later I finished and my son was slack jawed. It's good to be able to impress the boy while I still can.